Month: November 2019

Original- There is already corruption and shady activity within college recruiting and teams including multiple cases of athletes being caught violating these rules put in place such as now Pro Bowl NFL wide receiver AJ Green of the Cincinnati Bengals who was found violating the NCAA guidelines when selling his jersey. The irony of this is his college made thousands of dollars from selling jerseys with his name on it all profits going directly to the university. These are just one of the cases of how college athletes are being taken advantage of that is outlined in the article. Many of these problems I have always felt a connection towards the athletes and their needs. As an athlete and now college athlete myself I understand the difficulty of college athletics paired with the academic stresses. Along with any at home or out of the classroom and field problems I can’t imagine being able to balance everything without any help and compensation coming from everything these athletes are surely putting into their respective sports.

Revised-

There is already corruption and shady activity within college recruiting. There have been multiple cases of athletes being caught violating these rules put in place. This includes now Pro Bowl NFL wide receiver AJ Green of the Cincinnati Bengals who was found violating the NCAA guidelines when selling his jersey. The irony of this is his college made thousands of dollars from selling jerseys with his name on it all profits going directly to the university. This is just one of the many cases about how college athletes are being taken advantage outlined in the article. Many of these problems I have always felt a connection towards the athletes and their needs. As an athlete and now college athlete myself I understand the difficulty of college athletics paired with the academic stresses. Along with any at home or out of the classroom and field problems I can’t imagine being able to balance everything without any help and compensation coming from everything these athletes are surely putting into their respective sports.

I chose to include a picture of WR Aj Green in my essay because he is one of the players I use in my examples about athletes breaking the NCAA rules of profiting off themselves and eventually getting suspensions. This was an important image to add because it just shows an athlete at his caliber and status was essentially profited off of for his name. He is one of many athletes, who while could easily be making thousands of dollars themselves are restricted to only profiting for the universities that they are connected with. With the chart I included it shows the average revenue generated for schools separated out by sport. I think this was very important to add because it gives a very clear understanding about how much college athletics powered by the stdue nt athgltes actually generate for the school. While these numbers are staggeringly high it is important to point out that the student athletes do not see a cent of this revenue generated. I chose to insert this image around my talk about codependency between universities and athletes because it shows how athletics have a direct impact into the schools revenue stream providing it with the operating cost they need to perform. I also added the image of Ohio State’s football stadium completely sold out to show the dedication of fans towards college sports and the specific athletes that are in this huge spotlight. Again this highlights the elevation of these schools though the student athlete performances which has a direct effect on their overall school success. Student athletes are continuously overlooked and neglected by schools and the NCAA and through these images and charts shown it does a very good job of highlighting this issue.  

I chose to read the chapter “You Mean I Can Say it That Way?” because I my essay I got comments on and felt like rereading my essay it was very confusing at times. I knew what I wanted to say but looking back at it the paper did not accurately represent what was going through my head. I was caught up in making my paper sound overly professional that it lost meaning and context. In the chapter I read it talked about how to correctly put your thoughts down in styles that were organized in an accurate logical sense. I was able to understand how to blend my own sentences with a professional style without the usual confusion the arises in most of my essays. I believe this is one of the worst aspects of my writing and through reading this chapter and applying those skills I have increased my writing ability greatly.

Overall your piece was very well thought out and put together. You have a strong topic and argumentative point having a real focus on what your thoughts and the other authors relate to. The evidence used is very good and in some paragraphs I think can expanded on even more just to add more to your topic. One paragraph you had I saw contained some very good base information but no real evidence or connection linking back to the topic. With work on that the paragraph it should be a very strong point which in addition can connect with the authors writings as well. While still working on your conclusion I think by linking all your paragraphs back to your main topic will put it all together. Overall you have some very good pieces of information and flow of transitions making it a very good start to a paper. 

College athletes compensation a big issue that has been a very controversial topic throughout  many years. Just recently in the past few days a NCAA vote was made in favor of college athletes giving them the ability to promote their own likeness and profit off of themselves. In my essay I plan to look at the connection between college athletes and the NCAA/colleges and universities seeing the codependency between them. This obviously is not looked into and recognized enough but a very strong argument for the compensation of college athletes. Similar to the codepency in my topic there seems to be a connection between the arts and sciences not nearly looked into enough. Both these comparisons can be overlooked sometimes and the advances in looking deeper into both problems can open possibilities for new breakthroughs and understanding. The NCAA and science seem like the supreme rulings in decision making when in reality all the difference in the world can be made giving a bigger platform and louder voice to student athletes and the arts.